I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
