Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
