I love black thongs
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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