She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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