weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
