And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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