I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
