At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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