I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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