I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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