going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
