if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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