I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
