At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
