there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
