I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
