McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
