Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
