what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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