also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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