dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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