I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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