thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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