My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize