i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
