I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
