so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
