You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
