sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
