If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
