so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
