i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
