just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Pants are for mortals
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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