i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm bleeding and have questions
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
