I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
