Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize