I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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