I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
