I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
