apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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