Just fell off a train. Bad.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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