I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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