just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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