After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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