Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
