Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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