I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
