I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
