We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
