pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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