we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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