u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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