Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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