Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
