i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
