she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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