summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
